Author: Editor in Chief

October gives array of options BY DECLAN SCHROEDER As the weather cools, the sports world heats up. Fast approaching is that magical time of year where the stars align and the schedules of the four most popular sports in North America – hockey, baseball, football, and basketball – overlap, overjoying sports fans everywhere. The sports world truly reaches its apex as leaves start to fall. While baseball and Canadian football have been more than enough to consume a lion’s share of my time spent rapt and vegged in front of the idiot box this summer, many hanker for more. Ladies and gentlemen: more has arrived. NFL players are back on the gridiron, the puck has just dropped denoting the start of the NHL’s season, the MLB postseason is looming large, and NBA players are set to hit the hardcourt later this month. Even for a person like me who doesn’t go out or have friends, it can be onerous to keep up with it all. Even if you’d like to bar yourself in your basement or strap yourself onto your sofa with a cache of comestibles colossal enough to last until Christmas, you probably have that boring old thing called a job, errands to run, and other obligations that require you to turn off the television and put on pants. So, here’s one man’s opinion on the top three...

Bold, brash Ambrosie born to protect, perfect the game BY DECLAN SCHROEDER Randy Ambrosie knows a thing or two about working in the trenches. From 1985-93, he spent 142 games digging in and protecting quarterbacks as an offensive guard for the Calgary Stampeders, Toronto Argonauts and Edmonton Eskimos. 24 years later, he’s back in the channel, this time to protect the CFL game from irrelevance and its players from impairment. A successful player with a Grey Cup ring, Ambrosie understands the intricacies of Canadian football and is the perfect person to move it forward. In fact, less than three months into his new gig, he already has, confidently instituting sweeping changes midseason. Anyone who thought Ambrosie would tiptoe into the commissioner’s office and quietly maintain the status-quo was surely and sorely mistaken. The 6’4, 250-pound native Winnipegger bulldozed onto the scene, getting right down to the foundation of the league’s terrible video review policy. Over the last few seasons, the CFL expanded video review, allowing coaches to challenge pass interference and later, unnecessary roughness. At the start of this season, coaches each had two challenges per game at their disposal – and a third if they challenged successfully. This led to coaches indiscriminately littering the field with flags, desperately challenging every perceived bump and push – even if the contact occurred on the other side of the field and...

Snapchat filter musings BY JESSICA SEBURN — LIFESTYLE COLUMNIST   I was born with an asymmetrical face, and I think that’s where my problems started. I remember watching some weird science documentary in grade school about how human beauty is all about symmetry. I went home and took out my dad’s old yellow metal measuring tape and got to work. I quickly realized a few things: 1) I do not understand math 2) If you don’t secure the measuring tape, it will snap back into place and will happily scratch the sh** out of your face and 3) God made me wrong. So, I did what any insecure 11-year-old would do in this situation: I shaved my eyebrows into perfectly symmetrical rectangles. No matter how, I would achieve beauty. I mean, you can’t laugh too much. It’s 2017 and people are turning their eyebrows into literal squiggles. This brings me to my modern conundrum: why are scientifically certified beauties putting gorgeous Instagram filters on their already disgustingly beautiful mugs? These golden-ratio-sporting specimens already statistically have a higher chance of having a great life and not dying alone, and now they are adjusting the contrast to have virtually zero pores. And I can’t even be mad. Because I am so desperate to be their friends. I try so hard to keep up with their Ginghams, Larks and Hefe’s — what...